Bottle For A Headstone

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Bottle for a Headstone[1]
Original Broadcast Date
December 6, 2004
Joe Frank
1 hour
Preceded by: Duplicity
Followed by: Fire

I stand before you an innocent man.

Bottle for a Headstone is the name of a program Joe Frank produced as part of the series Online. It was originally broadcast on December 6, 2004.


  • Joe in the courtroom defending himself against her accusations, but he knows absurdly too much about her home and lifestyle. His alibi: treating young children with horrific diseases, but his witness cannot appear because of a restraining order. Flirting with a juror. I object!
  • Later, defending himself against his incensed girlfriend: seducing his lovely female listeners, a tearful, intimate goodbye with his a manly way.
  • Dreaming he's a diplomat at a reception. Smelling horrible, covered in urine and feces.
  • Intellectual conversations with a porn star.
  • His pychotherapist recommends necrophelia.
  • "Joe Frank is a character." A paradoxical loop: this is not my voice, I am only a mouthpiece for Joe Frank.
  • Father Malcom seduces Bertram, who has a revelation, then becomes mute and joins a motorcycle gang.
  • "You can best follow the instruction book on virtuoso piano playing by simply depressing the keys in the correct order."
  • Then Bertram becomes a mime and plays at Carnegie Hall. He's visited in the hotel by Veronica, who tells him of a scheme to manufacture artificial time. Then Bertram makes up excuses to try to end the encounter. Then: a knock at the door and it's her client--she's a hooker.
  • The nature of time. "Life is simply the punchline of a joke told backwards."
  • Then they killed Father Malcolm? (I lost track here, 40 to 50 minutes)
  • Ends with a rendition of 'Pull My Daisy', a poem written by Alan Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac, and Neal Casady, music by David Amram, for a short film of the same name made in 1959.RandomTroll 16:02, 14 Nov 2010 (PST) This rendition comes from Amram's 'No More Walls' album; the singer is Lynn Sheffield.RandomTroll 14:40, 21 Nov 2010 (PST)


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Killer loop at the beginning, hilarious opening sequence. Some great quotes in this one. Occasionally he lisps conspicuously. Why?